No More Skipping Steps

I am thoroughly experiencing the basic stages of dating only at age 30.

Yes, during my younger years the getting-to-know-you stage was often integrated in the commitment stage. I always had whirlwind romances. Thanks to my desperation. So steps 1-2-3 are hurried and are usually experienced in conjunction with the new boyfriend status. Thus, I had a rich history of short-lived "relationships".

What I am appreciating now is that the getting-to-know-you stage ushers you into a process that involves a lot of soul searching regarding your readiness, your needs or wants, your character and your compatibility with the person. And when you stay longer in this stage and keep yourself from jumping into a commitment, you also have the advantage of studying the person you are dating: his emotional capacity, the common subjects of his conversations, his use of time and how it reflects his priorities, his readiness to accommodate another person in his life, etc.

My recent dating experiences taught me that the spark I have with someone can only take me up to a certain point. When the fireworks fade, your heart becomes quiet, raw and honest. It will tell you if there is indeed a deepening affection, a real presence of love. And in the grand scheme of things, fueling love will require understanding of this person and appreciation of who he is, what he offers and what he means to you.

The getting-to-know-you stage is a process we must undergo. It can be frustrating when things don't go well and you are forced to go back to square one with another guy. But it can be rewarding when your bf doesn't only feel right but is actually a good match for you.