Made Not Only in Heaven

I'm a sucker for love stories.

Lately, I've been exposed to a love story in progress. Boy meets boy at a party. They like each other. Goes out. Boy #1 heads to province. Boy #2 follows him after getting tired of long distance calls and hundreds of text messages. They are now together officially, on their way back to Manila with similar bracelets that signify their new status. Not to mention the big smiles on their faces. This is what I am learning:

One, it really takes a long while sometimes to find that one person that will make your heart jump and be completely bewitched by his presence in your life. It's divine to fall in love. The spark between two people is a rare gift one cannot order or manipulate.

Two, when God gives him to you, the ball is in both your hands. You are both in-charge of making this love story beautiful. You can't just lay down and wish it on you. There is a difference between a love story you read or watch and the story of your life. The latter requires you to get up and do something to develop this gift into a thing of beauty.

Being a hopeless romantic means that while you long for and believe in the "awww" moment, you also know when it's time to stop just imagining things. While one person may initially lead the dance, the other person will learn that he can't just be dragged to it. He should also start moving, maybe following but eventually creating new steps too for both of them.

If you are starting your love story, don't be lazy. Use your "kilig" and your creativity to pursue each other. Don't be passive and just wait for him to make you feel special. Galaw-galaw. Constantly think of ways to make him feel special too. Cultivating love means some amount of energy, time, resources, creativity and effort. It is both your responsibility to turn this into your own magical love story.

So write that mushy letter, bake that sweet cake, put that necklace around his neck or sing that song to him. Whatever. Do it. Don't stop.

Rethinking Courtship

Courtship is a two-way street.


We are used to the idea of courting between a pursuer and a “pursuee”. This connotes the idea that the pursuer has stronger desires to be with the pursuee and that the latter is a passive participant in this process.


This maybe true for some but nowadays courtship is between two people who BOTH want to explore romantic possibilities with each other. BOTH persons have the responsibility of exerting effort in expressing fondness, reciprocating sweetness and proving that they are BOTH sincere in their intentions.


Ang problema minsan sa mga bakla, gusto mag-maganda. Nagpapaka-Maria Clara sa panahon ni Eva Fonda. Or minsan plain selfish, narcissistic. Laging iniisip ang kung ano ginagawa ng “manliligaw” para bigyan siya ng magandang pakiramdam at nakakalimutan na meron din siyang parte in proving himself din as a person worth the efforts and emotions. If nagpapakilala siya ng sarili nya, ikaw rin nagpapakilala sa kanya.


Para lang itong pakikipagkapwa, do unto others what you want others to do unto you. If you only think of your emotions, your happiness and your context, then you are not ready to be in a relationship where giving, showing, considering and understanding another soul is a requirement. Be single na lang where loving yourself, being sweet to yourself and embracing yourself is the norm.


If you want him too, galaw-galaw ka naman! Paramdam ka! Help nurture what you are both feeling and wanting to achieve in your budding relationship.

One. Two. Three.

One. You are the soul that I always wanted. And I still wonder what happened to us. You are my serenity. Now I am retracing old steps while taking new ones between us. I want to be surprised.

Two. You are my security blanket. The one that tucks me in at night. I feel warm and positive about the future because it is safe and stable. Your warmth is my good night's sleep. I want that to be enough.

Three. You are the sweetness that rocks my world. I am captivated. With you it is all extreme. Highs and lows. You wake up the pursuer in me. I am in a rollercoaster ride with you. I want to regain my balance.